I Like Running

Sixteen months, two 5Ks and 40 lbs ago, I was certain that 1) I would never run so much as a mile and 2) I would be perpetually fat.

My first blog entry was titled "I Like the Idea of Being a Runner". When I wrote it, I knew I had a lot of work ahead of me. This picture of me at Devil's Lake, looking up at the the journey ahead, is a perfect was to show how I felt. The thing I didn't understand back then was that it's impossible to reach "the top" in running. There's never a point where you just quit feeling uncomfortable or feel like you've achieved everything you can achieve. You can always get faster and run farther, and you always need to train. It's not a matter of "becoming" a runner or being a runner, because there is no defined point to reach that makes you "a runner". It's a process, and it's a never-ending one.

I haven't kept up with this blog as much as I planned to, but that's because running is kind of a boring thing to write about. My experience at the gym is always the same. How many times can I complain about the lukewarm water at the SERF and how uncomfortable I am when I run? And how many times do you want to read about that? Really, the only thing that changes is the distance I'm running each time. Just sixteen months ago, running a half mile was an achievement to be proud of. Last week, I ran 4 miles (at a place of about 11min, but still).

I'll be running my third 5K on March 13th with my parents (& my 10-year-old sister will be walking) and I'm really excited. During my first two 5Ks, I had to stop and walk for a little bit. I think my time was about 38min for both. Judging by my 4miles in 44min (although there was no incline), I should be able to run the entire time and finish in about 33 min. Accounting for hills, maybe a little longer. We'll see.

I'm also thinking of signing up for Crazylegs (8K on April 30th). Since I've never run 5mi, I'm still not sure about that one, but like I said, the journey is never over when it comes to running. After finishing this 5K, I still won't be satisfied. I'll need to run an 8K, then a 10K, then a half-marathon and so on. I guess being a runner doesn't mean that you've reached a certain point, or "the top", it just means that you've learned to love the never-ending process of getting there.

Warm Weather and Even Warmer Gatorade: 5K #2,

I am not a morning person. I am not even a mid-morning person. Hardly an afternoon person, actually. I am not really a running person, either (yet). Especially outside, because the outside is not air conditioned and there are no electric fans. When I'm running outside, I often wonder why I'm doing it. Because it really sucks.

That being said, I got up at 6 o'clock in the morning on a Saturday to go and run 3+ miles in the not air-conditioned outside. I was hoping that by the time we got running at 7 the sun would still be on the other side of the horizon, but it turns out the sun rises sometime before 7. I don't know much about sunrise or what time it occurs because it's something that happens while I'm still drooling on my Ramones pillow.

For this race, I didn't try to pump myself up like last time. I didn't even touch my playlist until minutes before we started running. I didn't take it easy on the day before, either. Or at least I didn't mean to. My intentions were to go to the SERF on Friday to pick up our packets and run 3ish miles. What actually happened was this: I picked up the packets after some confusion about which line I was supposed to be in which caused me to look like a dimwit, browsed the shelves full of running apparel at the expo which I didn't even realize would be there (clothing excites me, even if it's of the running variety), and ran exactly half the distance I planned on because I had used up too much of my time looking at the clothes I neither needed nor could afford. Dimwit indeed.

None of that is really important, though. What's important is the race, and you can probably tell by now that I'm beating around the bush. I don't even really feel like writing about it. I didn't make my goal. There, I said it. My goal was to run the entire race and improve by 2 minutes. Actually, that goal was set for me by one of my mom's friends, Wayne. It sounded okay to me. Unfortunately, I didn't make it. And before the race, I even knew I couldn't make it. That's the sad part. I didn't even believe I could do it. Maybe that's part of the reason I didn't.

Besides all of that, the race went well. We met Beth there (my first time meeting her), Wayne's girlfriend, and she was running her very first 5K. I was happy to know that I'd be running with someone who was at my level of instead of just my mom, who I knew would eventually jet ahead of me.

I was still trying to wake up when we started running, and I hadn't even gotten my iPhone ready with my playlist. I was trying to run and get my music going at the same time and it made for a very clumsy, slow start since my phone was already in the nifty little armband/iPhone holder. I'm sure there's a better name for that but I don't feel like looking it up. I did catch up with my mom and Beth after that, though, and we all stayed together well into the 2nd mile. Probably about halfway through, in a sad fit of "I'm too tired to keep going", I just stopped and walked. But I was still happy that I had made it as far as I did, because I didn't even last to the 1 mile mark last time. I started and stopped a few times after that, and Beth stuck by my side the whole time. I guess she needed to rest her legs a little bit, too. I sprinted at the end because, you know, I am a real runner now. My chip time was 38:25, 8 seconds faster than the Full Moon 5K. Considering 7am was the start time and we stopped to take a silly picture -------->
and I had iPhone problems at the beginning, I'd say I was a little faster than my time suggests. Not 2 minutes faster, but still. More than 8 seconds faster. I'm still pleased with myself.

Something that was nice about this race was that they had 2 places where they were handing out cups of water and Gatorade. I was feeling drained, so I went right for the Gatorade. It was extremely warm, though. I was expecting room temperature or maybe even a little chilled, but it was like someone stuck it in a microwave or something. It was better than nothing. Now I just need to learn how to drink it while I'm running without spilling it all over my shirt (another sign of a "real" runner).

Now that the race I've been training for since I began this blog is finished, I feel like I need some goals if I'm going to keep going with running.

I first started writing this blog a couple days ago, and I set this goal:

My first goal is a 10 minute mile. 6mph isn't very comfortable for me, but I'm sure I can do it for 10 minutes. I don't know if it would be easy enough for me to do right now or if it's going to be really difficult, but I want to try and do it since I never have before. Who knows? Maybe I can cross this off my list tomorrow. I'd definitely like to get this one done before school begins on Sept. 2.

I can mark this one off my list because I did it this morning. It was really tough and I puked in my mouth afterwards (sorry, I know that's gross), but I still finished it. So I'm changing it to 1.6mi in 16 minutes. I could barely finish the mile, so 1.6 really is something I'll need to work for. Since my 5K time is around 38 minutes, this would be a significant improvement on my time. I want to make this goal by Sept. 2nd, preferably with my breakfast staying put.

I know this goal may seem small, but that's what I'm going for. Long-term goals are difficult for me to meet because I lose track of what they are and overestimate the time I have to do them. Small goals will eventually pave the way to my much bigger (and right now, seemingly unattainable) goals, like eventually running a 10K or maybe even a Half Marathon. I'm not going to bother putting a date on those, though, because I don't know how much time I'll need to get there. Maybe I can do it next summer. Maybe I can do it the summer after that. Whatever. Baby steps until then.

You Know You're a Runner When...

My last run was on Sunday and I did a (nearly) solid 3 miles. I think it was my best run yet, although I didn't keep track of my time. There was a quarter mile of walking in there towards the end (might have actually been an eighth of a mile, I'm not sure), but it was my mom who suggested we walk. It was probably because I was having a hard time breathing and I sounded like a dying horse, not because she actually needed to walk, but still. I didn't walk because I felt like I needed to. That's an improvement for sure.

Near the end of our run, my mom suddenly jetted ahead of me. I was confused because she hadn't said anything to me about sprinting at the end. I did my version of sprinting, which is significantly slower than her version of sprinting, in case we were being chased or something. We weren't. She told me she read that sprinting at the end of a run is a sign of being a real runner. That's news to me. I decided to do my own research and see what else would qualify me as a real runner. That is the goal, of course.

These are from various sites. I just picked a few of them.

You know you're a runner when...

You have more running clothes than regular clothes in your laundry pile.

Nope, my laundry pile doesn't fit this description. However, my laundry pile never accumulates into the pile it used to. I'm in my workout clothes every single day and it only takes a week to get through all of them (and, as a grungy college kid, I actually wear them all at least twice). I now do laundry every week.

You've lost a toenail and you tell people "it's not that bad."

I did lose a toenail. Most of it, anyway. And it was that bad. I was a big baby about it.

You have a drawer full of medals and other race souvenirs that you're not sure what to do with.

Riiiiight.

You go into Starbucks more often to use the bathroom than to actually buy coffee.

Check. Although, that was true before I tried this running thing.

You're not embarrassed to wear spandex.

I'm not! I'm really not! This is a new development.

You're always hungry.

Good to know I'm not the only one.

At least one of your web site usernames or email addresses has the word "run" or "runner" in it.

Well, I have an entire blog about my training. That counts for something I'm sure.

You know where your illiotibial band is located.

I do now. Thank you Wikipedia.

Your holiday wish list can be fulfilled at any running or sporting goods store.

That might be true this year! :)

You get excited when the new Runner's World comes in the mail.

I'm always excited to flip through it at Copps, and when I'm lucky I'll find an old tattered issue in the pile of donated magazines at work and I'll be able to take my time reading it. So, what the hell, I decided to subscribe right now. For $26, I just got a 1-year subscription for Runner's World AND a year of Bicycling magazine. Gotta love Amazon. It'll be nice to have them this winter when I'm feeling stressed about school and miserable because of the cold. It'll be an extra bit of motivation coming in the mail each month. I can't wait!

Your only recent photos of you alone are race photos.

Yep! True.

Whether a 5K runner or a marathon runner, you understand "the runner's high".

Yes I do! After a run, I feel like I can lift a car! I feel wonderful. Vibrant. Ready for another run. Kind of.

A nice walk doesn't feel much like exercise.

I used to think walking counted as exercise. And by walking, I mean sauntering at my own, slow-pokey pace. I thought running was too hard and way, way out of my reach being the chubby lady that I am. I was so wrong. It's only exercise if I can't comfortably carry a conversation while I'm doing it and there's sweat coming out of every single little pore.

On the weekends you sleep in until 6:00.

WHAT?! What is this correlation between running and waking up early? I don't understand exercise in the morning. If it weren't for my upcoming 5K that begins at 7am, I would claim that I will never ever take a morning run. I'm just not coordinated enough. That being said, I'm pretty nervous for this run.

Your non-running friends consider every race you run a "marathon".

I haven't talked much with my friends about running, but I was one of those people who didn't know the difference between a 5K and a marathon. I couldn't have cared less. Now I know all about it. Or at least I think I do.

You sprint at the end of a race.

I do now!

Hey Ho! Let's Go!: Full Moon 5K

It's been 2 weeks since I ran my first 5K. I know, I'm really terrible at keeping up with blogging. I tried to write about it the next day, but I wasn't feeling very funny. So now you know. I'm not always this funny (only most of the time).

My first 5K experience was absolutely amazing. Better than I expected it to be.

The day of, I did mostly nothing. I had the day off and the race wasn't until 9, so I sat on my butt. I read that marathon runners are supposed to relax the day before a race, so for some reason I thought that applied to me. In my mind, 3.2 miles might as well be 26.2 miles. I also thought that since I wasn't able to relax the day before (I had a frisbee game, lots of running), I could just do my relaxing on the day of. Turns out, 8 hours of bad local television does nothing to prepare a someone for a 5K. Who knew?

I have this odd obsession with food, like it's the key to everything. When I'm not feeling 100%, it must be because of something I ate. Too tired? It's the hummus. Crabby mood? It's the Boca burger. Bad hair day? It had to be the Cheerios. So, in true Natalee spirit, I mimicked everything I ate on the day I ran the 2 miles. Because I'm sure making it to two miles wasn't a result of all the training I'd been doing for months. It was definitely the peach I had for breakfast.

One thing I did differently was I cut down on liquids, especially towards the end of the day. I had been having a problem with side cramping and I noticed that it only happened when I would drink water before a run. I also didn't want to have to squat in some bushes halfway through the race. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know why I thought a dehydrated runner was better than a cramping runner, or even why I thought water was definitely the reason for my cramping. I didn't bother to look that up (but I can look up what marathon runners do the day before a race?), so I didn't learn until after that cramping has nothing to do with drinking water. A lot of times, it can actually be a result of dehydration. My bad.

Okay, so I didn't do nothing ALL day. I did some cleaning, some dancing, some playlist-planning. I fittingly named my playlist "run, fat kid, run!". I listened to music that pumped me up and put me in a great mood. By 8:15, when my mom picked me up, I was ready to go. No butterflies, no worries.

We got there early and got our "packets" and "chips". Then we learned what "packets" and "chips" are. In the packet (really, a bag full of stuff), we got chartreuse shirts, bibs (the thing with the # on it), powerbar gel blasts, etc. Pretty nifty. The chips were little things attached to our shoelaces, so when we crossed the finish line we'd get an accurate timing that we could look up online later. In my case, that's just depressing.



Even though I was pretty sure I wasn't going to run the entire 3.2 miles, I wasn't nervous at all. I was excited. Especially after we got our shirts, bibs and chips. I think maybe we were a little too excited, though. While we were going to put the stuff in the jeep, putting our shirts on and taking a couple pictures, we failed to notice that nearly 500 people had moved from the top of the hill at Olin park to S. Shore Drive, nearly a mile away, in a matter of maybe 5 minutes. When we noticed that there were no more chartreuse shirts in sight, we kind of freaked out. We thought the race was going to begin at Olin, but I guess it didn't. With the help of a race volunteer, we figured out where to go and made it with a few minutes to spare. Whew.

Being around so many runners, dressed just like them and stretching like them and getting ready to attack a 3.2 mile race like them made me feel... odd and inspired at the same time. Out-of-place and in the right place. Bizzare and electrified.

The first part of the race was invigorating. The first song on my playlist (& my mom's playlist, too. She used the same one.) was "Hey ho! Let's go!". It worked like a charm. I was jacked for the race and smiling big and ready to go. There were people along the sidewalk right at the beginning clapping and cheering like we had all really accomplished something by running 50 feet. In hindsight, I guess they were pumping us up for the next 3+ miles, but it felt undeserved at the time.

I was feeling great until halfway through the next song (which is an 8 minute song so maybe it's not so bad) when I finally had to stop and nurse a side cramp. I was back to running almost immediately, but at that point I had lost my mom. She's better at this running thing than I am.

Before I knew it, I had made it to the 1-mile mark. I was able to see the Madison skyline. The Capital. Lake Monona. I love that view so much. I love to think that I live right in there, inside that beautiful postcard-worthy view. It might seem completely unrelated to the race, but it's not. After 1 mile, I wasn't thinking about the race anymore. I was thinking about how lucky I am to live in such a beautiful city and to have a mother who pushes me to do things that I never would have dreamed of trying. How lucky I am that the extent of my suffering in life is having no air conditioning in my apartment and the occasional side cramp.

I stopped a couple more times. Inhaler, cramping, general exhaustion. That kind of thing. It was a very brief stop each time. I'd say I was between 4.5 and 5.5mph for the rest of the race, so not very fast, but not walking, either. I forged on along with the rest of the misfit toys, though. The asthmatics, the "I'll just walk"ers, the kids my sister's age. The awesome part is that I finished it running. I ran through a side cramp that kept coming back. I ran up the hill at Olin. I ran because there were so many people watching me, standing at the sides, still enthusiastic after already cheering on hundreds of racers ahead of me, clapping and telling me that I was doing great.

I felt like a real runner for the first time. My mom caught a picture of my first 5K finish ever. A moment of triumph and proof that I actually can finish what I start.

My final time was 38:33. Not great, but not terrible. I'll do better next time.

Two Miles!

Sweet Jesus, I ran two miles! Without any stopping at all! At a pretty steady pace of 5-6mph! I can't stop using exclamation points when I write about it! It's too awesome for periods! Two miles!

I went to the SERF to see how far I could run (with the distance "hidden", of course, so I could force myself to think about things other than "I think I can't. I think I can't.") and I got to 1.85 miles before checking the distance. I made myself suffer through to 2 miles because I thought I could probably make it. I was right. I felt like I was going to cry. And then I felt like I was going to puke. Fortunately for the comfort of my fellow SERFers, I did neither. I just walked to the locker room and changed into my real life clothes. Wide-eyed and surprised at myself.

Mental Hurdles

As I write this, I'm lounging in my armchair, all prepared for running (in my Nike-knock-off shorts, sports bra and of course, ample deodorant). I've been wearing this stuff for a good half hour.

It takes more than sports apparel to get me motivated, unfortunately.

Since my last entry, I ran another full mile. Plus some, actually. And I didn't even realize that I had done it until the next day. I was running with my mom around the capital square and we went 2 times around without stopping. I was amazed that I had done it, but I was even more amazed when I realized that 1 time around the square = at least 1/2 mile, so 2 times around the square = at least a full mile. Who said I wasn't good at math?

That being said, I'm stuck again. I haven't been able to do it on my own. Believe me, I've tried. By time time I get even half way around the square, my inner dialogue is something like:

"Ouch, my thighs are chafing. I can't breathe. Just make it to that corner. Then the next corner. Ugh! And the next one. How does anyone enjoy this? I need to get something for these thighs. It's like I'm trying to start a fire. Oh my god, I need to catch my breath. I need to make it to that next corner. Seriously, why do people do this?"

I'm not a very good motivator.

When I'm running with my mom, though, she distracts me from... myself. I (mostly) think of other things, and it's extremely helpful. But she's not here today. So, I guess I better get out there and run some mental hurdles.

Finishing What I Started

Okay, so it's been a few months since I've written a new entry, and I have to say, I'm coming back sheepishly. Not only do I rarely finish what I start, but I'm really embarassed when I don't. I hate that I do that. But anyway.

So I guess I'll get on with the excuses, now. I was really busy with school and interning and working from March until May (Oh yeah, and hiking in the Grand Canyon). During that time, I crossed over into the "dark side" of training and dieting, which is to say, the point of zero motivation. This includes infrequent trips to the SERF, Ben & Jerry's on many a stressful day, feeling like there was no possible way I'd ever be prepared for this 5K, coffee for breakfast, etc. Who wants to write about that? It's depressing.

But this is a blog about my progress as a runner. Or as the case may be right now, runner-to-be. So enough about that.

Since school has been out, I've had a lot of time for exercise. It's been amazing. I started out slow, going only a few days a week and staying for 30 min max. Within a few weeks, I was staying for an hour or more, sometimes twice a day. I also joined an Ultimate Frisbee league, which includes a lot of running. We play twice a week. I'm not in great shape yet, and I'm still pretty close to the highest weight that I've EVER been at, but I feel great.

Running. It's my kryptonite. I've mastered just about all of the cardio machines: stairmaster, stationary bike, elliptical, rowing simulator, you name it. I feel like I can do them indefinitely. But running is the most difficult thing I've ever tried to do. I've surprised myself in the past couple of weeks by running further than I thought I could. Many times. But I'm still not feeling prepared for a 5K; the one big hurdle I have left to jump is a mental one.

I never used to notice runners, but now I see them all the time. I see them everywhere and I always think "what does that person have that I don't?". Sometimes the answer is obvious. Most of them weigh at least 40 pounds less than I do. I'd like to see them try to run with a toddler on their back! But I've also seen runners that are my size or bigger, which just boggles my mind. Again, I have to wonder why they can be runners and I can't. And there's no definitive answer to that. My guess is that they can run because they aren't thinking "there's no way I can do this" while they're lacing up their tennis shoes.

It's all mental, and in that respect, I have a long way to go. I'm going to keep trying, though. I surprised myself when I agreed to try running in a 5K, I surprised myself when I ran a full mile (once), I surprised myself when I was able to run around the Capitol three times in one day (with some walking in between of course), and I'm going to keep surprising myself until I finally finish what I started.

Sounds of the Real World

I am iPodless, now. Phoneless, too, actually. Technology is never on my side.

The recent failure of my phone is not exactly relevant to my blog. My iPod's unwillingness to cooperate, however, is. This has happened to me quite a few times, so I'm very familiar with the sad-faced animation of an iPod that appears on the screen, as well as the squealing and clicking sounds that come from within, indicating the hardware is having some sore of seizure.

When I first started running, I never brought my iPod. I thought that it would be more irritating to keep the earbuds in and the cord out of my way than to listen to the clip-clapping sound of my tennis shoes and the sounds of the city at night. When it got too cold to run outside, though, I started bringing it to the gym. I made special playlists and grew accustomed to having it with me.

Today, my first day at the gym without it, was unenjoyable. It was like the day I was working out without an effective sports bra; odd feeling, uncomfortable, unpleasant, and very short. First of all, I never realized how loud gyms are. Everyone is making some sort of irritating sound: the girl to my left who was actually stomping as she ran, the treadmill behind me that seemed to have sand stuck in it, the slurpers at the fountain, the too-loud headphones, the chatters by the door, and many, many more. The sound didn't bother me so much as the four plasma screen TV's with volume off and captions on that can only be seen if you're in the first of the four rows of machines. What's the point of having them at all? They're just teasing 75% of us!

I was only there for 20 minutes today. My workout wasn't that short by choice; I went between an important meeting and a class. Although it didn't last long, it was enjoyable. I was on an elliptical and those things are really growing on me! I'm looking forward to going tomorrow, assuming I don't get more sick than I already am (I have a cold).

If I wake up even more sick tomorrow, maybe I'll take a page from my iPod's book, draw a sadface on my forehead and remain unresponsive and uncooperative all day. It would be nice to just shut down.

Mama Said There'll Be Days Like This

Like anyone who has ever made a new years resolution or set a seemingly impossible goal, I've kind of fallen off the horse. Don't get me wrong, I still (sometimes) go to the gym, eat (fairly) healthy and (sort of) keep the looming 5K in the back of my mind. If I'm going to be honest, I go to SERF only 1 or 2 times a week, I had Gorgonzola Gnocci for dinner, and my papers, exams and social life all take priority over the faraway August run. So sue me.

Don't write me off as a total failure, though! I DO have some excuses. First of all, I'm a student. A working student with an apartment that always needs cleaning and a pile of laundry that always needs washing and blah blah blah blah... I'm busy, OKAY? But that's not all, because I know that somehow people who are as busy as I am make it to the gym everyday. There are more excuses up my sleeve!

Whenever I go to the gym, something "comes up". For example, a couple weeks ago I was planning on taking the bus straight from work to the SERF, even though it was pretty late. It had been awhile since I'd talked to my best friend, Rachel, so I called her to talk on the way there. We talked for two hours. But what could I say? We rarely get the chance to have one of our amazing conversations that makes my abs hurt from all the laughing (see? I did work out a little) and I miss her a lot. I wasn't about to ditch her for a Stairmaster. I made it all the way to the locker room and changed into my workout clothes, though... and we kept talking. By the time we had finally exhausted every subject, I would have had 15 minutes to run, change again, shower and get out. Not worth it.

Another time, I rushed to the gym in between classes only to remember (too late!) that I had taken my t-shirt home to wash... I was wearing a dressier shirt that day and a sports bra would have looked ridiculous underneath. I didn't even want to try it, and I'm sure my fellow SERF goers would have thanked me. Consider that bullet dodged.

The next time I went, my sports bra broke. I had the kind with the zipper up the front and the zipper broke. I don't even know why I bought it, it looked so stupid. But not as stupid as it looks now. Let me explain. I've only had the bra for about two months, so I was completely against spending $10 on a new one. I'm too stubborn and frugal for my own good. So I took it home and sewed the front together. Yeah. I barely know how to sew, so it looks like a 3 year old did it. I have more experience with knitting, so I probably would have had better luck if I tried to knit myself a sports bra. The worst part, though, is that it doesn't even work now. That's the "something" that came up last time. There's no way I can possibly run without a bra that is so tight it's like duct-tape wrapped around my chest. So, there you go. My excuses. Impressed? There are quite a few, I know. As my boyfriend (and immediate family) like to say, I turn everything into an "ordeal".

Now that I'm done whining, I'll talk about the few times I've actually made it to the treadmill. I ran my first mile a few weeks ago (VERY exciting for me), but I haven't been able to do it again. I'll definitely keep trying, though. I've actually gotten my boyfriend to join me a few times, which always keeps me going. I'm more inclined to work out longer when he's with me because I hate the thought of him being able to do it longer than I can (no matter which type of machine we're on). I push myself further because I make it into a competition. We don't go home until he's complaining at me and I've confirmed that I've climbed more virtual stairs, biked further or ran longer. I'm definitely not going to tell him this, though (he doesn't read my blog), because once he knows it's a competition, I'll have no chance. He'd rather give himself a running-induced stress fracture than be outrun by me. His determination is one of the things I love about him, but also the reason I want to keep my little system on the DL.

In other news, I'm noticing how difficult it is to get back into it after a few days off, which makes it really frustrating when I just don't have the time or some other factor keeps me from going. I know everyone has setbacks, though. I'm no different. I just have to keep working at it. I just have to get back on the horse. As soon as I get a new bra.



(oh yeah, I'm not keeping track of my "points" on here, obviously, because I rarely get a chance to write. I'm keeping track in my day planner. Right now I'm at -2. Think that's bad? Last week it was -7).

First Full Mile!

School is officially back in session, which means I can look forward to waiting in line for a treadmill AND changing in a room with 30-ish skinny, athletic girls (yep, I'm officially out of the bathroom stall) everyday (almost) for the next few months.

I got to the SERF at 8:30 this morning and was up on the cardio floor soon after. I'm always winded by the time I reach the 4th floor BUT then I use a stairmaster and I'm fine for (what it claims to be) 60+ floors. Can someone explain this to me? It's embarassing to be out of breath before I even get on a machine.

Anyway, today I spotted an open treadmill immediately. I saw at least 2 other people walking towards it, but I pretended not to see them and hopped on. What can I say? I'm ruthless. It had been awhile since I had gotten one because usually I'm banished to the less-popular equipment (like the ancient, bulky stairmaster that sounds like a vacuum cleaner, left.) or a stationary bike. No one likes those. They're treated like a quiet bookworm is treated in high school; ignored unless interaction is unavoidable. I like to think the elliptical is like me in high school: kind of weird and not easy to get used to at first, but actually really awesome. (No, I don't really think about these things when I'm working out. Don't mind the rambling, I'm exhausted).

As you already know from the title, I ran my first mile today. Since I finally got on a treadmill today, I decided to use my time to see just how far I could run. I can't even remember the last time I ran. I hate the cold, so I really rely on those treadmills. After a short warmup, I pressed the little "up" arrow until I really couldn't handle the speed anymore. I didn't even look at the number. I didn't want to know. I just focused on my music, the skinny guy in the too-short shorts in front of me (never fails to gross me out), "The Today Show" playing on the plasma screen with captions too small to read. Anything. I just kept running until I couldn't. By the time I looked down, I had already run almost the entire mile and I suffered through the rest of it, just to say that I did.

So, now I'm saying it. I ran a mile!

The Little Engine That Will

Second day back from winter break and lemme just say, I am SO proud of myself. Not for the running (I didn't do much, bra issues) or the stationary biking (I am in love with those things!) but because I've changed so much since I started. It really hit me today. Instead of dreading the treadmill, I'm actually excited to get on. All the way to the gym I was hyping myself up on the bus, perfecting my playlist and impatiently waiting for my stop.

I always heard that the "I can't" attitude is purely psychological, but I never took that to heart. On my first couple runs I was "The Little Engine That Could (But Really Didn't Feel Like It And Therefore Decided It Couldn't)" chanting "I know I can't, I know I can't."

As soon as I proved to myself that I CAN enjoy running (or cardio in general) and it really DOES make me feel better, my tune changed to "I know I can, I know I can. I will."



Song of the Day: "Boom Boom Boom" Black Eyed Peas remix with Kid Cudi

GD: -1 (I'm going to keep track of my "good decison jar" resolution on here. I'm less likely to lose a blog than a notebook. I'm still in the negatives because the first 3 days of the year were lazy ones.)

the new year

I lost my wallet last night. I do this kind of thing all the time. I left it on the bus and, long story short, I tracked it and caught the same bus when it was back in my area (after it went all over town). Luckily, it was still on the seat where I left it. The point is, when I realized my wallet was gone my first thought was that without my student ID I wasn't going to be able to get into the SERF. I panicked! It took a few minutes before I even thought about my bus pass, cash, credit card, etc. I guess I was really excited to get back, huh? Progress!

The SERF re-opened its doors today after a break for the holidays; from now until the ever-so-distant 5K I will supposedly be running in August, it won't be closing for any more extended periods of time. I have no more excuses for skipping the gym for more than a few days at a time. I think I can handle that. I hope I can handle that. It's going to be a tough semester. I hope I can continue to see exercise as a way to relieve my stress instead of another obligation that will add to it.

Tonight, the SERF was packed. I mean, it's always pretty busy, but this time there were actually lines to get on the machines. I'm guessing it's because everyone is beginning their new workout routines for their resolutions to lose weight, get more exercise, train for a 5K because their mother told them to, etc., etc., etc. I think for the past few years my resolution has been to lose weight and get in shape, not because my weight is a particularly pressing issue in my life, but because every year around this time everyone starts talking about their resolutions and weight loss is mentioned at least 234349 times. I just think "sure, that sounds fine. I'll go with that" and then, like everyone else, I'm back to my usual greasy-fingered habits by mid-January. That's good news for me; it'll only be a few weeks before the SERF clears out and I'm able to get back on my favorite treadmill.

I'm trying something new this year. I read in a magazine that a good idea for a resolution is to start a "good decision jar". The idea is that you put a dollar in for every good decision you make and at the end of the year you buy yourself something you usually wouldn't splurge on. I'm doing it a little differently, though. First of all, I'm going to do it on a day-by-day basis. If I feel good about the decisions I made all day, then it's +1, but if skipped the gym and headed to Cold Stone, it's -1. I'm not going to give myself a dollar for each "good decision" because then I'll convince myself that everything I do is a good decision just for the excuse to use the money on an expensive trip abroad. Because, if you know me, that's really all I want. I'm not going to use real money everyday, though, because I'm sure I'd find a way to leave it on the bus and some lucky person would find a jar full of MY good decisions.

Who knows? Maybe I'll forget about this whole thing in two weeks.

back to the gym!

Finals are over! Although that means I get a break from the mental anguish of papers and exams, it also means that it's time for the physical anguish to begin again. My first day back to the gym was today.

Instead of the Nat, I'm going to the SERF for my winter break workouts because it's more convenient to get to after work. It's essentially the same thing: I get free access to the cardio equipment because I'm a student. What's different, though, is that the cardio machines are on the 4th floor rather than the 1st. When I realized this, my first thought was "Oh, crap. No elevators?" That's not a good sign when the whole point of being there is to get a workout. By the time I got to the 4th floor, I was already exhaused and sweaty. Granted, I was still bundled up in my winter coat with my boots and scarf and hat, but still. Come on. Pathetic.

My workout wasn't much more impressive. I walked for a mile on a treadmill at a pace slightly faster than what I consider comfortable. I never even broke into a jog. I didn't want to. I was thirsty and tired from work and complaining in my head about everything I found uncomfortable. Which was everything. After the mile, I moved onto one of those bike machines. Not the virtual ones that I talked about earlier, but the ones with the pedals in the front. The kind I hated. Whatever. I just wanted to sit down. Anyway, I was on it for only 45 minutes and never even broke a sweat. That's probably because I didn't break 80 RPM.

I'm really not impressed with myself today. But hey, it's my first day back after a couple weeks, so I'm not going to beat myself up too much.

I'll just do better tomorrow.

finals!

Hey guys, I know you have all been expecting descriptions of my latest and greatest attempts to follow the couch to 5k program. Unfortunately, my blog isn't the only thing I've been neglecting. I haven't taken a run since Dec. 1st. I probably won't get back into my running shoes until Dec. 21st, when my finals are finally finished. I'd like to sneak a few workouts in there, but no promises.
I'll be slaving away at final papers and memorizing, memorizing, memorizing material for the exams. Wish me luck!

monday workout fail: my do not's

Tonight was my first night back to the gym since last Wednesday, and it didn't go exactly how I expected. It's just been one of those (Mon)days.

1) DO NOT RUN WITH A 30 LB. BACKPACK AND CRAPPY SHOES.
This morning I had to catch the ALWAYS ON TIME 6:12 bus. Despite a serious lack of sleep, I woke up on time and even sat down for a couple minutes to enjoy some yogurt. I left my apartment at 6:08 with plenty of time to walk the two blocks catch the ALWAYS ON TIME bus; I got there just in time to watch it drive away 3 minutes ahead of schedule. The only other buses I could take (without being super late) stopped 2 blocks in the opposite direction of my apartment, so I ran, half-asleep, with my obscenely heavy backpack and my no-support shoes, wheezing in the freezing air. It's really no surprise that I twisted my ankle, is it?

It hadn't bothered me again all day, but once I started on the treadmill I had sharp pains in my ankle. When I got my shoes, I was told that I have to focus on keeping my feet straight when I run because they tend to point outwards. (Yes, mother) I was focusing on keeping them straight, but eventually the pain moved to my knee. Bad news.

2) DO NOT RUN WHEN YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD TIRED
On the days when I work so early and don't get out of class until 5, my motivation is at a level 3 out of 10. Especially if I didn't get enough sleep to begin with. Monday for me means: unsatisfying meals (unless it's at least warm or carb-packed, I don't feel like I've eaten anything), back-to-back classes (or, in-between classes, oodles of homework), two back-breaking walks up the big campus hill (yes, everything in my backpack is completely necessary), and ultimately, burning out. I know I don't have a 'hard-knock-life', but still, I can't help feeling so exhausted. If anyone has any ideas on how to combat this, PLEASE let me know. (NO to coffee/energy drinks; they make me jittery, sick and still unable to focus).

When I was running tonight, I kept yawning. This is proof that yawning does not indicate boredom: I was quite the opposite. I swear my legs were fighting me. They just didn't want to move today. So anyway, I kept yawning, which makes my eyes water, and there's nothing like obscured vision to make you feel nice and safe while you're limping away at 6 mph.

3) DO NOT FORGET YOUR WATER BOTTLE
I know, "duh". Hydration is obviously necessary, they've been pushing that in gym class since kindergarten, but it's hard to think ahead to 5 o'clock when I'm also planning what to bring to work, for breakfast, for lunch, for classes. It's a miracle I remembered (or had room in my backpack) to bring clothes to run in. I'll never forget my water bottle again. Or at least I hope I don't. Here's why:

The Nat is packed after 5 o'clock, so it's difficult to find a machine to use. On top of that, there are no "saves". If you get off to take a drink, someone else will have started their workout on it before you can say "oh crap". Of course, I was so thirsty I was contemplating stealing the water bottle of the girl running next to me. Like she wouldn't have noticed. That's when I decided I had had enough.

I was only at it tonight for about 20-25 minutes and I continued the 60secs of running/90 secs of walking which I was doing last week. My speed probably averaged 6.5 (but maybe that was a mirage?), which is an improvement on last time. I just didn't do it for as long.


_________________________________________________________

I realize this probably isn't one of the most exciting blogs to read, but before I write any more of them, I want to make clear the purpose of this blog as a whole. Although I really love it that people read and encourage me (please don't stop!), this blog is really for me. I love writing, and I figure the more I write about my experiences, the more enthusiasm I will continue to have for running. So I might complain and whine and do away with any trace of wit every once in awhile, but that's because I want to write about it even when the last thing I want to do is write about it.

*yawn*

a sedentary thanksgiving.

I hate to disappoint so soon after the start of my blog, but, as the title explains (and as I prophesied in my last blog), it has been a sedentary Thanksgiving weekend. This isn't entirely my fault, though. First of all, the campus gym is closed until Monday. Second, I work 27 hours this weekend (that includes Friday, but still) and I have 3 papers I need to be working on, one of which is due Monday.
My third excuse is that I still feel like the girl in this picture, thanks to Thursday's extra-helping extravaganza, otherwise known as Thanksgiving (I tried my best, but come on! I love mashed potatoes.) Anyway, like I said, sorry to disappoint. I'll be back to the Nat on Monday.

I hope everyone had a wonderful, button-popping feast (or two), as well.

locker room ranting & pixelated lycra: wednesday

In an attempt to make up for what would undoubtedly become workout-less weekend, I hit the Nat twice on Wednesday.

I managed to get out of work early, so I used the extra time for a run. I planned ahead and brought my running attire in my backpack, but didn't have enough time to change at work; I was doomed to the public locker room. Here's the thing with me and locker rooms: I'd rather clean an entire locker room with my own toothbrush than drop trou in one. Middle and high school have scarred me deeply, apparently. Even back then, I hated that we had to change together. Shouldn't there be an alternate option for the girls who aren't 100% comfortable with their bodies (me) and who cannot pull off a quick change while simultaneously holding a concealing towel (me)?

Luckily, on this particular Wednesday morning, all the bathroom stalls were open, so I changed in one of those. I realize it's unfair to use a bathroom stall as my personal changing room, so maybe someday I'll overcome my hatred of public locker rooms. For now, though, my focus is on overcoming my out-of-shape-(ness).

My workout was bitchin'. I was determined to follow the 60 secs. of running + 90 secs. of walking for at least 20 min. (which is what the C25K says I should be doing) and I made it for 30! My running speed hovered between 5 and 5.5 and my walking speed between 3 and 3.5. Of course my legs felt like overcooked noodles when I stepped off the treadmill, like they were going to turn to a pile of mush underneath me, but hey, 30 friggin' minutes! I didn't quite feel like a Gatorade commercial, but I felt good.

I had a couple extra hours later that night and decided to swing over for a second helping. I dragged Cyrano (the name I'll use to refer to my boyfriend; I'm a kidder) with me this time, despite his lack of decent running shoes or willingness to join me. Because his shoes are meant for skateboarding (he doesn't skate) and not running (see picture), we spent about 40 min. on stationary bikes. They weren't typical stationary bikes because the pedals were out in front of the seat rather than below.
<-- Like this. They are extremely uncomfortable. I adjusted it at least 5 times and I was still sliding forward out of the seat. After 40 min. of uncomfortable exercise and a few more spent persuading Cyrano not to give up and leave, we got on some upright stationary bikes. Our butts were thanking us. These ones were virtual stationary bikes (what's wrong with a normal stationary bike? are those outdated or something?!). These ones are like playing a really, really boring video game where you bike a loop and pass the same two virtual people over and over (one of which is pictured in my example). I imagine the point is to make it a little more "realistic", but you don't even have to swerve to avoid them when you're passing; when you get close enough behind them, to the point where your entire screen is taken up by their seemingly see-through simulated spandex, POOF! they disappear. The controls are also awful. It was like I was riding with a tire that was at a 45 degree angle to my handlebars.

The virtual bikes aren't all bad, though. There's music! I plugged my headphones into the jack and it played CCR, Stones, etc. Awesome stuff. Also, it tracks calories burned and heart rate (but how accurate are those? I bet not very). Along the bottom of the screen (you can see in the picture) it shows a graph of the differing elevations of the path you're riding (resistance), watts (how much power you're putting into each rotation) and I think the other one is heart rate. We stayed on those machines for maybe 30 minutes, I lost count.

By that time we had been there for over an hour, our last bus was coming in 15 min. and it was pouring outside (we were NOT walking in that). We ended the workout with a cool-down on the treadmills. Cyrano walked on the treadmill next to me, utterly exhausted, while I ran for a few minutes and gradually decreased speed for a nice end to the last workout before the gluttonous holiday weekend.

UW-Natatorium -- First 1/2 Mile.

I hate the smell of sweat and I hate water fountains that spurt lukewarm H20. Welcome to the UW-Natatorium.

I stepped foot inside the Natatorium for the first time ever this morning. I imagined it would make me uncomfortable like the "lifting room" made me uncomfortable in high school; I don't know what to do with most of the machines and I'd feel stupid asking. I guess I thought it was something like a "no pudgy-people allowed" type of place and people would just laugh. Lucky for me, it wasn't difficult to find the treadmills (the one machine that doesn't intimidate me), nor did anyone notice my embarassingly slow warm-up speed. Everyone else had their iPods on and were busy with their own morning workout routines.

The running itself wasn't too bad. The plan was to alternate between 60 seconds of running and 90 seconds of walking (first step of the the C25K plan) after 5 minutes of warm-up, but of course it didn't work out that way. I was using the timer on the treadmill to keep track, but I kept forgetting to look at it or losing track of how long it had been. I got really bored with this, so I just decided to run at a comfortable pace (5.5 mph) and see how long I could go without over-exerting myself. I ran my first half mile since I started running a couple weeks ago (only 1, 2, sometimes 3 times per week), so I'm definitely proud of myself for that. I know it's not much, but it's better than I could have done bef0re (AND it wasn't very difficult -- I know I can run further).

Back to the Natatorium tomorrow! But I'm bringing my own COLD water.

i like the idea of being a runner.

I can count the number of times I've actually 'taken a run' on one hand. Even when I'm about to miss a bus, I opt to be late in lieu of running after it... not just because I'd look ridiculous, but because I'm lazy. Despite my idle demeanor, I've committed to training for a 5K that I'll (supposedly) run next summer with my mom.

I agreed because I like the idea of being a runner. I envy those 40- 50- 60- 70-somethings who do marathons. I always imagined I'd be one of those people when I got older. I'm not sure why I imagined myself running Crazylegs when i'm 50 if I can't even comfortably run a city block now, but that's why I agreed to do it. I want to be healthy now AND later.

The problem is: I'm easily unmotivated. A hot bowl of soup is more inviting than a pair of running shoes, and a few extra hours of sleep are going to sound much better on a cold winter morning than getting up and going to the gym before class. After I finally buck up and get my shoes on, I'll find more things to complain about: my joints are bad, I wheeze, none of my clothes are comfortable, etc. etc. etc. I know I'm not the only one starting out feeling like this is an impossibility, so I might as well try, right? (and I might as well write about it, because the more people who read this, the more people I'll have pushing me along.)


But the sad truth, now, is that I run like the fat kid in gym class. It's hilarious, actually.
This picture is me, sulking on a hike. I also like the idea of being a hiker.